Where's My Stapler

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I was one of those naive people who think they're going to be getting a job in what they majored in; which is why they make you choose one to begin with. Instead of working with words, for a whole year and a half now I've been doing anything but. Only recently have I begun to feel the void, and thus my cry of help.

I work as a CMM Operator. I have a feeling most people have never heard of that, so I suppose I'll dish out a quick explanation (its funny how I've felt like writing this all day until now... me and blogs have never had long term relationships). The term basically refers to a Coordinate Measuring Machine, and the ones I run are used to measure airplane parts, which are either made of titanium or aluminum. Our measurement system is English, and just about everything measured is below an inch... within thousandths to hundred thousandths of an inch. Yeah... that means we have to be very specific, and thus the need for machines that measure specificity s like that. Ok, explanation tiring. Even proper sentence structure tiring.

I suppose that's something I should mention. Yes, I am/was an English major. No, that doesn't mean I feel I have to adhere to the practices therein. I will be writing fragments, and will probably not follow coherent streams of thought sometimes, but it'll be Ok. Try to withstand the corrective urges that seem to exist in our "educated society." So let's begin, shall we?

Rounds of golf played this year to date: 0
Rounds of golf played last year: 0
The year before: probably 5 or more

I was a Caddie then. Can say that was fun, but not very profitable in the short amount of time I dabbled. Am having fun now butchering sentences.

Number of times the F word was used at work today: surprisingly none that I can... oh wait... let's allow for: at least once
Number of times the F word is usually used at work: too numerous to count, but gotta remember to bring one of those clickers to work one day to find out.

Quotes of the Day:
Me: "If I were Rich, I'd play a lot of golf too." Story behind this particular quote of the day: Opp. J mentioned to me that Rich (our plant manager) plays a lot of golf. I thought it'd be funny to bring up earlier quote. He didn't get the word play.

I gotta say that something I noticed early upon being hired was that most of the people at my job act like a bunch of overgrown children. Case or cases in point:

Mr. Puerto Rico likes to whistle. The problem is he whistles the same tunes over and over, day after day. Opp. J doesn't particularly enjoy whistling, and in fact hates the practice. Opp. J enjoys silence. Something he won't ever get unless they fire Mr. Puerto Rico (probably one of the guys who's been here the longest). Mr. Puerto Rico knowingly whistles things like the "nana nana boo boo" tune because of Opp. J's hatred of the abominable practice. (Btw, I also enjoy whistling while I work, but at least try to keep the tunes varied. A fact that still cannot be appreciated by Opp. J).

Mr. W is the CMM Programmer of our bunch. He's been looking for another job (as has probably %70 of the Quality department) since being hired. He knows he's better than his pay (I suppose we all do) and continues fishing for a company to take him on at his high level. Mr. W enjoys talking about working out with "Pharmaceutical Research" (him and Opp. J get on this topic at some point every day), planning camping trips, and cheating on his wife with a woman from our other warehouse. This man seems to think he's untouchable. When I first started working here, I thought of him as a grown up bully, because he seemed to lack the sensitivities we have taken for granted from people. He even told me he had to take sensitivity training at one of his previous jobs, a fact that is not surprising to people that have known him for just a few minutes. This guy has called me fat, and compared me with his teenage kid. He gets angry too easy, and I'm sure he'll get fired before he can quit.

There are plenty more such issues that I'll probably bring up in later issues, ready to change the subject now though.

Oh yeah, talk about a weird moment. Have you ever had your boss just burst through the door, walk quickly over to your desk, and look over what you're currently doing? That happened to me today, and it was one of the weirdest experiences I've had with him. I'm just sitting there typing into my "reporting status" document, when I hear the door open, footsteps, and he's there. Right beside me looking at my document. No "hey John, whatcha doing?" or anything. Just there. He then turned and started walking away, at which point I ask "Like what you see?" of which he responds with what sounded like "yeah."

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