Relationships are complicated, and any man who is thinking of boiling them down to a formula is ignorant. To have a relationship with someone is to allow oneself to be hurt. A lot. Relationships involve much give and take, and most successful ones involve more give than take. A person attempting a successful relationship must make decisions that can alter the future within a matter of seconds. Conversations and actions are at the very core of sturdy relationships. Things one says are of utmost importance. Actions are of even higher consequence than words. If actions have not backed words up often enough, the integrity of the offender is diminished. Once trust is broken it takes more effort each time to bring it back. Unlike breaking bones, the more the trust in a relationship is broken, the weaker it is when regrown. This is why a person attempting a successful relationship must practice self-evaluation. Along with this self-evaluation one must be willing to evaluate the needs and reactions of the partner to determine what words and actions of the self must change in order for the trust and faith in a relationship to continue. This evaluation should be practiced with honesty. If one practices these evaluations in order to present a false image of oneself, an image the partner has indicated she needs, the deceit of the person practicing the deception will eventually be found out. When deceit of this magnitude is discovered, there may be no returning to the former trust of the relationship. This is something worth avoiding, and is why one must give an honest representation of oneself to his partner. If one lies, it is best to uncover the lie as quickly as possible. The more time a lie is allowed to sit and stagnate, the more putrid it will be when discovered. This is similar to allowing a dead rat to remain under the couch. Over time the overpowering stench of decay will give its location away. It is easier to dispose of a freshly deceased rat, than one that has been allowed to decay. There will no doubt be permanent stains if this is allowed to take place. Yet such deceit is part of human nature. Even though we understand how horrifyingly destructive these evils can be to a relationship, we continually practice them. Pride will oft times be the underlying motive. We would prefer to be the “good guy,” retaining as unblemished an exterior as is possible. We control these situations by keeping our mouth shut, and shoving the rat under a basket.
